Release
by Keegan Paige
Summary: Jack is with Sam in her final moments. How does he deal with life after that? Be warned, you may need a Kleenex. Chapter 4, A Much needed conversation now up.
1. Release

Authors note: Yeah, it could use a better title. The _italics_areJack'spov, just to clear somethings up.This thought just wouldn't leave me alone. I had to write something. I am a huge Sam/Jack shipper, so I don't know where the thought came from. Be warned, you might want a Kleenex. On a different note, the dreaded school is starting back up tomorrow, so I might not update my other story for a while. Wish me luck on finals.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate, the characters, or any other thing in this fic. That relates to Stargate.

Summary: What Jack is feeling in Sam's final moments. Warning character death.

Release

The sky was dark and stormy. Thunder boomed in the distance; lightning accompanied the loud sound with bright flashes. Rain poured down, soaking everything it touched. It was a horrible day; the same damaging day he got the call. The four sad words spoken by the voice on the other end of the line confirmed one of his worst fears. "I'm so sorry Jack." A deafening silence came over him when those words were heard. It was like he had been taken out of time and space, all reality. He could hear various words from the other man on the other end. Accident. Casualties. Chances of survival… Blinking, he came out of his trance. He forced himself to concentrate on the other voice and not the one spiting out negative comments in his head.

"Jack, are you still there?"

"Yeah." Was all he managed to get out. The news would not sink in, though he knew it was the truth.

"I think you should come down as soon as possible. It might be your last chance to…" "To say goodbye." He was cut off by Jack's voice.

Daniel winced, knowing how much this hurt him. "Yeah, she would want you here."

"I know." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "Daniel, tell her to hang-in there. To at least wait for me, if she can."

"I will. I have to go, they're still bringing people in. They need all the help they can get."

"Go."

"I'll see you soon." Daniel said as he hung up the phone on his end. Meanwhile, Jack held the receiver to his ear, as if waiting for something. Slowly he let it go, covering his face, shaking his head side to side a little. Sighing softly, he knew what he had to do. He was going to fly back tonight, hoping she'd still be there when he arrived.

It was late when he passed through the front gate clearance. He wanted to run to her side, but he didn't have the strength. Instead he walked solemnly down the familiar corridors that were once his home. It didn't take him long to reach where he was going, but when he arrived the scene was something new. There was hardly an empty space to be found, and he was blocking the way for more coming in. Peolple, alive and dead were everywhere. Heoverheard men talking, "Ambush...no chance."Panic rose in him, she wasn't there. Jack couldn't stand there any longer, seeing too many familiar faces in pain, and some with no expression left. He spun around just in time to catch Daniel bringing in another fallen SG-7 team member. "Where is she?" Jack practically screamed out of fear.

"Isolation room 19. Jack…" Daniel tried to start, but he was gone.

Running down the hall to the isolation room, Jack was overwhelmed with feelings he hadn't felt in a long time. Emotions that he had only experienced once, when Charlie died. His heart was being torn, which wasn't the worst of the pain. He tried to think of the last time he spoke to her, how long ago that was. It was the fishing trip. His eyes were full of tears that dared to fall, wrecking that O'Neill military bravado, but he didn't care. The only thing he cared about was the woman was just beyond the door he stood in front of. Lifting his arm, he suddenly second guessed himself. Why would he want to see her like that, why did he have to come down here just to see her…die? No, she was not going to die. She was going to recover, like always. Jack slowly pushed the door open and walked in with that thought clear in his mind. The door closed behind him, blocking out all the cries of pain and rush of emergency personnel, leaving them to the almost unbearable silence. Think positive for once, he told himself expecting her to just sit up and start talking about some new device she was working on. But she didn't. It was slowly and painfully killing him, every second that she didn't open her eyes. Forcing himself to move, he took a chair and sat right beside her.

"I need you to wake up, Carter. I'll make it an order." He almost laughed, but he couldn't let himself. "Sam, please." Taking her hand in his, Jack was shocked at how cold she felt. Everything about this was wrong; she was never cold or quiet. Samantha Carter was a warm, charming, beautiful woman. Sure, she could put you to sleep talking about the latest theory in wormhole physics, but without her, Earth wouldn't be the same. Leaning forward, Jack placed her limp hand back on her the bed. He pushed away the stray strands of hair covering her delicate features. Pale white replaced the vibrant color of her face. Eyelids covered the once beaming, bright blue eyes that he had unexpectedly fallen into so many times before. But by far, the thing that hurt the most was her nonexistent smile. The exuberant smile that was always playing across her face; the beaming expression, the devilish grin, the shy-reserved one that was made just for him, it pulled him in. making him go weak every time. Jack longed to see it, if only one last time.

That's when everything hit. Like an earthquake it shook violently, tearing down the wall that had been but up years ago, leaving him defenseless. Tears that had been waiting to fall were released like a flood, spilling off his face and onto the bed. This time he let it all go, surrendering to his emotions. The realization that she might not make it pushed itself forward until it was the only idea in his head. Laying his head on her stomach, he continued to weep, more softly now. "They can't loose you…I can't loose you." Came out muffled. He quieted himself, lifting his head to reveal red eyes and a wet face. Moving onto the bed, he picked her weightless body up and held her tightly. Her breathing was light, almost not there. He let her head fall onto his shoulder. For the first time since he had come here, he looked straight at her. _It's my fault; I waited to long to tell her how I feel. I could have gotten her transferred sooner. We could've been together._ Could've. Jack noticed his mind was already using the past tense, but he didn't stop it. _I would've retired and bought back the cabin where we'd go fishing everyday. We could've had a dog and a couple kids. Kids, we would've had ourselves a family together._ Jack stopped himself, before he went to far. He knew not to dwell, it would only cause him more pain. Bringing himself back to the present, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I will always love you, Samantha." Jack said in a hushed tone, letting her know he would make it.

It was almost immediately after Jack spoke those sentimental words when Sam took her last, quiet breath. Jack continued to hold her, even though he knew that she was gone. He had felt her leave. Moments later a familiar white light engulfed them, and a shimmering figure drifted upwards. She had ascended, he always knew she would, she deserved it. Though heartbroken and weary, Jack felt secure. She would be back, just like Daniel. And he would once again see that distinctive, captivating smile.

A/N: It would mean a lot to me if you reviewed my fic. Yes, there are probably mistakes. Correct me please, but be nice about it. Again, reviews are good for me!


	2. A Visit

A/N: So, here it is. Seems people wanted a sequel, so I tried my best. This chapter definitely isn't as good as the first, but I think it works. If you like it, good, if you don't, well, that's ok too. Since I couldn't end it here, I guess there'll be a third chapter.

Disclaimer: Don't own Stargate…yet…. I wish.

**Release**

Chapter 2 

Three weeks later, the words were still in his head. "I will always love you, Samantha." _I should've said it before, what stopped me? Oh, yeah, those damn regulations_. Regulations. What a wonder, how one single word can affect your entire life. Keeping you from saying the things that need to be said, doing the things that need to be done. All Jack could do now is wait, wait for her to return.

His thoughts were interrupted by a man knocking on the door. "Come in." He called. The man took his time entering the lab. Her lab. "Jack, what are you doing?" The voice was concerned, but firm.

"I'm sitting."

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't know. Just thought I'd drop in."

"She's not here, Jack."

"I know."

"You still haven't…." He fell silent when Jack stood up, throwing his arms in the air.

"I can't. Sam's coming back, Daniel. I know she is."

"Jack, it could be a long time before…."

"I'm not going to clear out her lab."

"Ok." Daniel said knowing he'd been defeated. He wasn't going to win this fight, not this time. He didn't want to clear out the lab either, but orders were orders. Daniel sighed, walking out of the lab.

"You are coming back soon, right?" He said to the open room, returning to his place on her chair. The whole room screamed Carter; he guessed that was why he was here again. It was the only place he could find her. _Ah, fer cryin' out loud, I'm thinking out loud again. _He noticed he'd been doing that a lot recently. _I guess I'll keep doing it, until you get back._

"No you won't." _What was that…that voice only belonged to…_ Jack spun around on his chair fast enough to make him jump off.

"Sam?" he almost cried.

"What, you don't recognize me?" She smiled…that smile. He ran forward, pulling her swiftly in his arms, holding her tighter than he ever had. "Oh, Sam."

"I know. I, um, heard everything." She pulled away to look in his eyes. "I love you too."

They both smiled embracing once again. "Jack, I need you to do something."

"Anything."

"Wake up."

Before he knew it, she was gone and everything was quiet again. _Just a dream, she isn't really here. _Slowly, he made his way to the door and exited, sighing. _Soon. Soon, you'll be home, where you belong._


	3. Rain

A/N: Hey again. So, here's the long awaited third chapter. Sorry, story not complete yet. I'll probably finish it up pretty soon though. I think this beat the second chap, but the first is still the best. Anyway, on with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. Plain and simple.

Also, I would like to thank all my reviewers; seriously there would be no new chapter attempts without your support. Thanks a bunch! Enjoy the new chap.

Release Chapter Three 

Given time, things eventually returned to normal. Well, as normal as things could be in Colorado Springs. SG-1 continued on their missions, just the three of them. Although General Landry requested that a new member be put on SG-1, it was Daniel who eventually talked him out of it using his own personal experience to persuade the General. Over the past six months, they had been lucky in one way. They hadn't been involved in any situations that required Sam's technical expertise. Yes, in time the SGC had learned to move on. It was the only thing they could do. And in turn, so did Jack.

He learned to accept the fact that it would take time. That nothing he did would change the past or the future, this was the truth. God, how he missed her though. Some nights were worse than others, thrashing restlessly in bed never to find sleep. Memories filling his head as they did the day he went to visit her in the SGC. _The day she died. No, ascended. There's a difference. One means she's gone forever and the other means she's coming back. Of course she'll have to break the rules to do that. And knowing Carter, that may take a while. _But he knew what she'd do, even if it took a while. As much as it killed him to live without her, he was sure that it was killing her too, figuratively on both sides.

One year later

Rain. Cold, never ending rain fell carelessly all over the land. It was days like these that Jack O'Neill came to hate. They seemed to ruin his very reason for retiring. No sun, no fish. After he had official retired, for the last time, Jack came back to his little cabin in peaceful Minnesota. He mainly kept to himself, but he still kept in contact with the SGC on occasion to see what was going on. It was important to him.

The rain hitting the window jolted him back from his dream. He stood and went to the window, peering out as if looking for something. But all he encountered was the loathed rain, falling harder than before. Every time he saw those little drops they reminded him of a day he would never forget. Somehow, today it felt different. In an instant, Jack did something he'd never done before. He ran outside straight into the powerful storm, smiling as if overjoyed. Throwing his arms up in the air, Jack laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. A new thought occurred to him in that moment; the rain wasn't to be hated. All this time he hated the rain because it took him back to that fateful day, but he never thought that the rain was actually calling to him. That she was calling to him. This was the only connection they had and he had been too arrogant to notice it. _God, leave it to Carter to actually make me think deeply about something. _"Ah, Sam, I'm sorry." He called up to the dark filled sky. Seconds after, his call was answered by a large, white flash of lightning in the middle of the storm. _I know that's you Sam. I know you're there. I want to you to know that I'll be here, waiting for you. Always._

A/N: In case you were confused, a total time of 1-½ years have gone by. Yeah, I know that's a really long time, but I think it needed to be done a little bit different than Daniel's ascension time-table. Kay, this is the time to leave feedback. Please.


	4. A Much Needed Conversation

A/N: Wow! Never thought I'd be able to upload another chapter so quickly! The night after I posted chapter 3, I sat down and was just filled with ideas. Guess I was in "the zone". Finally, a longer chapter. I think this makes up for the mediocre 2nd and 3rd chapters. They had great points in them, but I think I was just stuck at that point and didn't know what to do. Anyway, on with the story! Also, thanks for the reviews! I love them. Oh, yea, if you didn't remember from the first chapter, the _italics_ are Jack's thoughts.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. Four simple words.

**Release: Chapter 4 **

**"A Much Needed Conversation"**

The knock on his front door was surprising to Jack. He hadn't expected anyone to drop by, especially since it was mid-morning in the middle of the week. Making his way to the front, Jack could only think of one person that it could actually be. He found himself correct when he finally opened the door.

"Hey, Jack." The familiar man uttered with a grin.

"Danny Boy! Whatcha' doin' here? Shouldn't you be off saving some our little planet, yet again?" Jacked joked casually.

"Well, as a matter of fact, since the last time we saved the world, we got some time off. And I thought you might enjoy some company."

"I'm not lonely, Daniel. If that's what you're thinking."

"Oh, no, not at all." He said sarcastically, "How could you be lonely way up here in the middle of nowhere hanging out all by yourself." He stated more than questioned.

"Smartass." Jack muttered, though smiling while gesturing for him to enter.

"I learn from the best." Daniel retorted, following his lead into the living room.

A little later, they were settled in the couch and chair with plenty bottles of beer for both of them. Jack knew this was more than just a drop by to say hi. With Daniel there was always something more. So Jack begun, taking a sip, fearing that he'd need it for later. "So, what brings you here?" _More like, what do you want?_

"I wanted to see how you were doing. You seem fine." Daniel started cautiously knowing from experience how Jack reacted to that old 'How ya doin'.

_Great, here we go again. You know, Daniel, you really should stop tiptoeing around the around the question. _Against his thoughts, he answered, "Well, you know. I get by. Fishing, Simpsons, and beer, the perfect combo."

"I'm sure." Daniel paused. He wondered if he should really say what he came here for. Was it really that important? Yes. Deciding to go for it, though reluctantly, he began. "Um, Jack, there's another reason I came here." _Always is…here we go._

"Figures."

"Yeah, well, now I'm not so sure…"

"Oh, fer cryin' out loud, Daniel." _Just spit it out already._

"Jack, …I really think it would be best if you moved on. I mean relationship wise, its important to have…" _Oh, Danny, I don't think you're the one to be giving me advice about relationships. Jeez, I know you mean well, but sorry. I am quite all right. If you didn't remember, I happen to be waiting for a certain woman. Who will be returning at any moment now. Any moment…now… Damn, didn't work this time either. Main point, I don't need to be involved with someone else when she walks back into my life. I already screwed up once; I'm not doing it again. And as much as I'd like to say this to you, especially since you're probably expecting it, I'll go with something simple. I'm good with simple things._

"Look, Daniel, I'm perfectly fine. You said so yourself." _Ah, see that was easy. Betcha didn't expect that did ya?_

He didn't, Daniel looked taken aback for a minute. He thought maybe Jack didn't get the point, so he tried a different approach. "It's been almost two years. Really, don't take this the wrong way, but do you really think Sam's just going to show up, after all this time?"

No extra thinking required this time, as shown by Jack speaking immediately, "It may take the rest of my life, but I know for a fact that Sam will be back."

"Part of me believes that too. But even if she does come back, who's to say that she'll remember anything about her past." It doesn't matter; the point is that she'll be home.

"Well, then we'll just have to build from there."

Daniel sat back, feeling actually stunned. At that moment he realized something he had been debating for years. Looking forward, straight at Jack, he asked the most important question. "You really do love Sam, don't you?"

Jack continued looking at Daniel, unafraid to answer. Knowing the truth would set him free, he didn't hesitate, "Yes, I do."

A small laugh came out of Daniel, lightening the mood of the room. "Wow, I uh, never thought I'd actually hear you say it." Joining in, Jack added his own small chuckle, "Yeah, well, it seems I can still surprise you, Space Monkey." _Yes! Score one for O'Neill. With two "L's"._

"Guess so….ah," Daniel paused checking the time on his watch. "…I'm sorry, I've got to get going. Cameron wants us to do something." Daniel stated, somewhat dissatisfied.

"Oh. So, how is the new guy?" _So now Cameron's calling team night. Not that I have anything against him, but he did happen to take over my team, trying to act like he was an original member._

"Actually, I'm going need more time than what I've got. Some other time?" _Ha! I knew it._

"Sure."

"Hey, Jack, it was great seeing you again. I'll bring Teal'c next time."

"Sounds good." T! _Wonder how he's doing with all those free Jaffa. This meeting is gonna be great._

"Alright, I guess I'll see you then."

"Yeah sure, you betcha." Jack concluded as he walked Daniel to the front. Looking out, Daniel paused for a moment before continuing on his way, "Look's like rain." Smiling, Jack stared up at the sky and whispered, "It sure does." _It sure does._

A/N: Yes, now is the time to review! You and your feedback will be much appreciated!


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